Losing your memory
by koldatherine
Summary: [Datherine] Running. That was what I did best. Something I had done ever since I had taken my own life. Something I did when someone got to close to my heart that I had hidden behind strong walls. Whenever I risked losing something. After all, I never let love get in the way.


**Losing your memories**

_- Running._

_That was what I did best._

_Something I had done ever since I had taken my own life._

_Something I did when someone got to close to my heart that I had hidden behind strong walls._

_Whenever I risked losing something._

_After all, I never let love get in the way._

_There was just one exception._

_One man who had made me forget that, who had managed it to get under my skin._

_And I was once again running._

_Too afraid to lose him._

_Too afraid that Klaus would kill him to get to me. -_

It shouldn't come as a surprise that she ended up following him around, making sure that she always knew where he was. While at the same time, she kept watching his brother. Watching the brother was easier. It was less tempting to forget that she had faked her death to escape Klaus and left to protect them. How much she had fought the idea to take him with her, but she couldn't force a life on the run on him. It must be the most selfless thing Katherine had ever done. She wasn't going to ruin it, just because of her feelings.

Her willpower to resist the temptation broke in 1940 in New Orleans, a town she only visited because she knew that Klaus hadn't been here since the early 1900. It had been Stefan's annoyingly and blonde best friend, although Katherine hardly would consider a woman who was nothing more than a judgmental bitch a best friend. The brunette vampire had listen to every word the blonde had spoken to Damon, disagreeing with everything.

The blonde didn't know Damon as well as Katherine did. She knew that Damon needed Stefan as much as Stefan needed Damon. Being with each other would be good for both of them. They could learn from each other. How was Stefan supposed to learn control when the only person around him was a judging, blonde vampire reminding him of his wrongs? Katherine believed that he needed his family.

Still, none of these thoughts should have lead to her following Damon after he had left Lexi alone, doing exactly as the blonde had wanted to. None of these thoughts should have made her forget that she wasn't supposed to give in. Nothing should have made her yearn to see his blue eyes again, to just give in and be reckless and selfish.

_- Was it so wrong? _

_To want to see the pure and unconditional love for me in his eyes again? _

_Not to be afraid that he wouldn't accept every side of me? _

_Was it so wrong to give in to temptation?_

_No. –_

The usually so controlled vampire and former doppelgänger followed Damon to the place the older Salvatore brother was currently staying. Not once had she dared to enter a place the brothers had inhabited, at least not when they had been awake or present.

She stood behind him, her back against the door and one hand on the doorknob. She could still run, open the door and disappear. But Katherine knew that it was too late. Her brown eyes wandered over his uniform clad back, remembering how much she had enjoyed seeing him in his uniform back in 1864.

A small smile appeared on her lips, she was suddenly aware of the fact that till now, Damon hadn't reacted to her presence. Somehow she doubted that she had been that careful in following him. He should have felt that someone was following him, but it seemed that he was oblivious of her.

"Damon," His name fell from her lips in nothing more than a whisper, but she knew that he had heard it. His body stiffened, giving away that he was surprised to hear her voice. For him, she was locked up in a tomb, with no chance of reaching her.

Her hand fell from the doorknob, sure in her decision not to run. She stepped towards him slowly, her heels clicking against the hard wood floor.

"Stop," That one word made her halt her steps.

"You are not really here," He said in a strained voice, "You are in the tomb. I am just…" He trailed off, not finishing his sentence.

He didn't have to. Katherine knew what he had wanted to say, what he thought. He though that she wasn't real, that his mind was playing a trick on him. That the moment he turned around, she would disappear. Katherine stepped closer, stopping, as she stood right behind him. She lifted a hand, putting it on his shoulder while she let her lips brush against his ear and her chin rested on his other shoulder.

"Doesn't this feel real, Damon?" Katherine asked, letting his scent engulf her senses, once again remembering how delicious his blood had smelled and tasted when he had been a human.

A sigh escaped Damon. His eyes fell close, enjoying the touch for as long as it would last. Katherine studied his profile from her position, taking in every tiny detail of his face. It was a downer that he had his eyes closed. She loved his blue eyes.

"I'm dreaming," He whispered.

It sounded like he still didn't believe that she was really here. A chuckle escaped Katherine.

"Then lets enjoy this dream," She whispered, taking a step back, removing her chin and hand from his shoulders and stepped around him, so that she was facing him now.

It was strange how kind she was. A quality, not many thought she possessed, but Damon had been able to bring it out of her. How could he have not? After all, he had never judged her and accepted every side of her.

She let her fingers touch his jawline, feeling the familiar softness of his skin under her fingertips. The female vampire even dared to take it a step further by moving her face closer to his, her eyes glued to his closed ones, hoping that he would open them and allow her a glance at his blue eyes. She felt his breath fan over her lips.

"Damon," She breathed out and took his face between her hands, letting her thumbs caress the skin over his cheekbones, "Open your eyes."

Damon slowly opened his eyes, focusing his eyes solely on the woman in front of him. He took in her face, her lips that were tilted up in small smile, her brown eyes gleaming with longing and her hair in the familiar curls that barely reached her shoulders.

"Katherine," Her name fell from his lips in disbelieve, as his hands reached out to push a curl behind her ear, "How did…"

"Don't," Katherine put a finger on his lips, cutting him off from asking a question to which she couldn't give him an answer. At least not yet, maybe in a few years when her plan worked and Klaus was gone. Now, it was too dangerous for him to know. She couldn't risk losing him.

"Don't say anything. Just give me this one moment of weakness."

His blue eyes showed confusion. Her brown eyes never left his and she asked herself if he could see the struggle in them. She let her gaze drop from his eyes to his lips, where her finger still rested.

_- Just one moment. _

_No one ever has to know. –_

With that Katherine gave in. Every thought about the danger of Klaus was forgotten. She stopped resisting and acted selfishly. Katherine took her finger of Damon's lips, replacing it with her lips.

It wasn't more than a brushing off lips. She didn't dare to be too forward. He could still push her away, demanding answers from her that he would never get. She was expecting it, but it never happened. Instead, he took a handful of her curls, holding her close to him like he wasn't going to let her leave him again and she let him. She would deal with the consequences of her choice later. For now, there was only Damon.

Their kiss turned from a simple brushing of a pair lips into a mixture of biting, nibbling and wandering hands. The held back passion of the last seventy-six years was released. Declarations of how much they had missed the other were whispered. Katherine memorized every second that she spent in his arms, so she could remember it and not be tempted again later. She even memorized his sleeping face, after they had ended tangled up together on his bed.

Sleep wouldn't come to her. Once again, she was fighting her selfishness. Katherine could stay in Damon's arms or do the selfless thing and leave again.

_- I need a witch._

_I have no other choice._

_He can't find him._

_I need him alive. -_

Quietly, Katherine moved out of Damon's embrace, leaving him to get a witch. He wouldn't remember this. He would forget that she had been here.

_- I love you, Damon._

_But I can't lose you._

_I don't want to be forced to choose between you and my own life._

_This is the best way._

_I am sorry. -_

* * *

Not happy with this one. Tell me what you thought.


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